


GoodTimesWithScar's Step-by-Step Guide to Magic Crystals

by GimbleGamble



Series: Season 7! [6]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Anal, Humor and Smut?, M/M, Magic Crystals, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Polyhermits - Freeform, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, almost getting caught, diamond licking, sona shipping, what else what else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 12:54:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GimbleGamble/pseuds/GimbleGamble
Summary: Step 1: Gather your materials!... What do you mean you don't have any crystals, isn't that the whole point of this thing? Uhh... alright, fine,fineStep 2: Have someone bring you the crystals. Okay? All good?NiceStep 3: Arguably the most important step okay? Like, really, pay close attention. This could have some major consequences.Step 3See? I'm emphasizing it so you know it's important. Alright? You ready?Make sure you knowexactlywhat crystal you're using.
Relationships: MumboJumbo/GoodTimesWithScar, ScarBo
Series: Season 7! [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781866
Comments: 7
Kudos: 42





	GoodTimesWithScar's Step-by-Step Guide to Magic Crystals

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Perhaps not the chapter you were waiting for. But something I hope you'll like either way.

* * *

Mumbo jolted awake, feeling the buzz of his communicator against his cheek. There was a split second of disorientation as he looked around to see where he was, until he remembered sitting on his desk to work on some blueprints the night before. He groaned as he straightened his back, falling asleep at his desk was never a pleasant experience.

He yawns, stretching his arms up and above his head to hopefully loosen his shoulders and shake himself awake. His communicator buzzes again, he takes a peek of the screen this time, only to find a string of private messages that Scar had been sending him.

> >GoodTimesWithScar: psst Mumbo
> 
> >GoodTimesWithScar: Mumbo!!!
> 
> >GoodTimesWithScar: Helloooooo Mumbooooo?
> 
> >GoodTimesWithScar: mumbomumbomumbomumbomumbo
> 
> >MumboJumbo: hey Scar
> 
> >GoodTimesWithScar: Mumbo!
> 
> >MumboJumbo: what's up?
> 
> >GoodTimesWithScar: do you still have the magic crystals I gave you ages ago?
> 
> >MumboJumbo: uhh yeah? I think so?
> 
> >GoodTimesWithScar: which ones do you have?
> 
> >GoodTimesWithScar: wait no can you just bring them all at the town hall?
> 
> >GoodTimesWithScar: thanks mumbo!!!

"o... kaaaay?" not the strangest conversation with Scar he's ever had, but easily not a conversation he could hold while he was still shaking off the fog of sleep.

He yawned again as he stood, trying to remember where exactly he put them. He knew he kept them somewhere, even though he really doesn't know the reason why. Weeell it _was_ the payment for the very first ~~and only~~ K.G.O.O.M.R. he sold so they might've held a tiny little place in his heart, a little pinch of sentimental value even.

He sighed, opting to just wildly rummage through his storage system and hope for the best.

"I'm sure I've put them in a shulkerbox somewhere... ah ha!" he grabs the labeled box and opens it to check on the contents, he was honestly a bit surprised to see the magic crystals all safe and intact. Yes 'magic crystals', _definitely_ not blocks of colored glass. He glanced at his communicator again to reread the chat, trying to find any context from Scars messages.

What on earth is Scar up to?

* * *

The sun was already starting to set when Mumbo saw the town hall on the horizon. He has to admit that It looked beautiful in the light... and hauntingly empty, the diamond throne imposing and intimidating in the distance. He looked around as he flew closer, trying to see if Scar was nearby. 

He stepped inside the town hall as he scanned the area, his footsteps echoing in the cavernous room. Everything was still and quiet and he wasn't gonna lie, it unnerved him a bit.

"Scar?" he whisper screamed, he doesn't know why he did, but it felt right given the whole feel of the place-

"Mumbo?!" which Scar promptly dispelled with a loud yell from somewhere behind the throne. Mumbo laughed, feeling less tense by the second.

"I have the err... crystals here with me" he replied, there was a shuffling noise and sounds of moving blocks before Scar answered again.

"come around back!"

Mumbo did as he's told and carried the shulker box around the throne. He finds Scar in the middle of what he can only describe as a cubby hole indented slightly into the diamond throne. He was surrounded by cushions, sitting on a lush carpet wearing nothing but his purple wizard robes and boxers. There was a crumpled up hat on the floor with what seems to be his fake beard tucked inside. Scar excitedly pats the space beside him.

"d'you have them?!" 

The excitement in his voice made Mumbo smile as he sat cross legged beside the mayor. He placed the box in front of them and watched as Scar immediately rummaged through it.

"Nice! I've literally just run out and Cub's were... _no good_ " he paused "and Grian kept throwing the ones I gave him to the void"

"that does sound like something Grian would do" Mumbo hummed. There was a sudden gasp as Scar turned towards Mumbo, holding fistfuls of crystals in his hands.

"Mumbo you've barely used these!"

"I- what. I'm supposed to use them?!"

"yes!" Scar exclaimed then another pause as if deep in thought "Do you... not know how to use them?"

"I-I guess not?"

"why didn't you tell me?"

"well I thought they were- well..." Mumbo gestured fruitlessly with his hands before noticing that Scar had stopped paying attention.

"Never used magic crystals oh my gosh" Scar rambled, holding a very distressed hand to his forehead. After a couple of beats he nods to himself, clapping his hands together "okay! we need to fix this right now, may I kiss you?"

"What?!" Mumbo blinked in surprise, with how fast Scar was rambling he wasn't even sure if he heard the question right.

"It's for priming!" he adds with a beaming grin. Never the one to back down from smooches, Mumbo shrugs.

"I guess?" 

Scar moves swiftly, straddling Mumbo's hips and cupping the redstoner's face with his hands. Their lips met and Scar immediately deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue though Mumbo's parted lips.

Mumbo places his hands on Scar's hips almost on reflex, closing his eyes as the builder took lead. The kiss was slow and languid, Scar mapping the inside of his mouth with purpose. It didn't take long before his tongue started to feel tingly, and as he got more comfortable, he began to respond more earnestly, managing to pull a soft moan from the builder on his lap.

Scar pulled back, panting as he covered his red face with his hand. Mumbo seems equal parts bewildered and disappointed that it ended as soon as it did. Absentmindedly rubbing his thumb by Scar's very exposed abdomen

"th-that's uhh, enough priming I think" Scar chuckled sheepishly "umm so, you need a diamond and a magic crystal" he rummages through his robe for a diamond and picks up a random crystal from the box. He placed the crystal in his palm and laced his fingers through Mumbo's trapping it in between their hands. He takes the diamond and presses it to the redstoner's lips "and then you lick the diamond!"

"what?" Mumbo blinked in confusion once again, trying to determine if Scar was messing with him or not. He _has_ heard of the Mayor's diamond licking problem though, it was even plastered all over the news!

"Yeah! c'mon Mumbo, trust me on this" Scar beams, offering the diamond up again.

Mumbo squints at the builder in suspicion, _him?_ trust _Scar_?, well it's more likely than you think. He shrugs and stuck his tongue out, giving the diamond a tentative lick.

His eyebrows raised as it melted on his tongue with the same fizzy tingly feeling from the earlier kiss. It tasted... well instead of taste, it sort of _felt_ sweet? Mumbo doesn't fully understand and his brain has stopped trying to, choosing to get more of the diamond slurry on his tongue. He almost didn't notice the crystal in his hand start to warm up.

Scar takes a lick of the diamond as well and with both of them hard at work, the whole thing dissolves, leaving no barrier between their lips and no choice but to kiss each other again.

It starts to get warm, **_too_** warm for Mumbo's suit Scar decides, why, he was barely wearing anything and it already feels a bit too stuffy in his robes. He makes short work of Mumbo's suit jacket and tie, pulling them off with little to no fanfare, the shirt joins the pile as well, leaving the redstoner half naked underneath him.

Scar pulled back with a gasp, both of them panting softly.

"w-wait what color was that crystal again?" he bit his lip, surprised at how forward he was in the moment. The spent crystal drops out of their grip into the carpet below as Mumbo fully wraps both of his arms around Scar.

"hmm... I uh didn't notice" he whispered, pressing feather light kisses along the crook of the builder's neck, deciding to run his hands underneath the open robes instead, making contact with Scar's flushed skin.

Scar shivers, keeping himself steady by placing his hands on Mumbo's shoulders. He spots the crystal and sees its flickering color before it putters out completely, leaving a clear block of glass in its wake.

He gulps as he realizes what the crystal was.

"a-ah, I don't remember giving you one of those?" he whines as Mumbo's hands find their way to his backside, slipping past the band of his boxers to knead at the soft flesh of his ass.

Mumbo pulls him closer still, causing their clothed erections to rub against each other. He moans, his hips moving on their own accord grinding down on the heat presented to him. He felt his face flush as Mumbo groaned _right_ by his ear, sending another shiver down his spine.

"S-Scar" It was Mumbo's turn to whine as Scar cupped his face again.

"you're so warm Mumbo'' he whispers pressing kisses on Mumbo's lips after every word. The redstoner playfully chases Scar's lips, softly brushing against each other with more tenderness than want. 

This changes when Scar's hands find their way down to Mumbo's trousers, opening the zipper with practised ease. He presses his palm against the outline of Mumbo's dick, drinking in the moans of the redstoner beneath him, before finally pulling the band down to release Mumbo's erection from it's confines. The grip on his ass gets a bit more desperate as his own boxers slowly slide down his legs.

Mumbo pulls back to trail kisses downwards, trailing his tongue across Scar's collar bone leaving little nips and marks on Scar's chest. He paused blinking up at Scar with puppy-like intensity.

"d'you happen to have any lube?" he asked, punctuated with another firm squeeze, Scar bit his lip and shuddered.

"y-yeah in my hat, I think"

Mumbo reaches towards it and digs through its cavernous insides, his fingers brush against the neck of a potion bottle and he grabs it. With a quick check of the label, he opens it and slathers a good amount of the slippery liquid on his fingers before his hands find their way back home.

There's static in the air, as Scar shudders and shifts, mewling as Mumbo prodded deep inside him and stretched him open. He bobs up and down, trying to fuck himself on those lithe fingers as Mumbo laps at a pert nipple.

Mumbo wraps his lips around the bud and sucks as he adds another finger into the mix, delightling in the high pitched moans pouring from the builder's throat.

"M-Mumbo, Mumbo- gods" Scar panted, torn between pushing back down into Mumbo's fingers or thrusting forward to at least get a little bit of friction going.

He spots the bottle of lube in the corner of his eye and it may be a mix of impatience and general horniness that made him reach towards it, a plan forming in his mind. Immediately foiled as Mumbo curled his fingers, making him whimper as his knees nearly gave way underneath him.

He didn't let that stop him, determined as he is, after gathering his wits about him, he triumphantly raised the bottle above his head.

Mumbo gasped as he felt lube drizzle down on his dick. Seeing the impish little grin on Scar's face as he takes them both in his hands and spreads the lube around, thoroughly coating his and Mumbo's dicks in the warming liquid.

Mumbo keens, bucking up with a shudder. While the feeling of Scar's hands around him was absolutely divine, it only emphasized just how much he wanted to **bury** himself into the builder on top of him.

Scar, seemingly sharing the sentiment, shifts in his seat, sliding forward to get a proper angle on his ride. He grinds back down letting the lubed shaft tease his entrance in the best possible way.

Mumbo gently pulls him in place. He feels a sharp stab of want as the redstoner tilts his head questioningly, looking up at him with the familiar puppy-like intensity he'd grown to adore.

He nods quickly, feeling a shiver run up his spine as Mumbo grabbed his hip, his other hand disappearing below him. With another nod he slowly lowers himself letting the redstoner guide him.

There's a soft gasp as he felt Mumbo's dick spreading him open, his body trembled, breaths coming out as short puffs of air as he continued his descent. He couldn't help but mewl, capturing Mumbo's lips once again as the tip made it through the tight ring of muscle. 

Scar's toes curled, the slow but constant drag to his insides and the heady, _suffocating feeling_ of being stretched open clearing out his mind. He lets gravity pull him down slowly, the feeling of Mumbo's arms around him, supporting him all the way down, grabbed at his chest.

He finally bottoms out with a choked moan, legs shaking as he adjusts to Mumbo's girth.

"g-gods Scar" Mumbo inhaled shakily. He pressed light kisses on Scar's shoulders, rubbing comforting circles on the builder's back. "everything okay?"

"You feel so good inside me Mumbo" He moans breathlessly, starting to grind his hips in place, making Mumbo groan in response.

Scar gulped, raising himself on shaky legs, bit by bit then letting himself sink down to the base with a soft mewl. He starts a slow leisurely pace, leaning forward to support himself on Mumbo's shoulders.

"You're doing so well Scar" Mumbo moans, grabbing Scar by his hips. The praise spurs him into moving faster, panting and mewling as the heat builds in his abdomen.

"Mayor ScaaAAaaAaaAaAr, where are yoOOUUuu?" Bdubs' loud sing-song voice echoes from outside the town hall.

They freeze in place. Mumbo slaps a hand over his mouth as Scar clenched maddeningly tight around him, desperately trying to swallow the wail trapped in his throat. Scar wasn't doing any better, burying his face into Mumbo's shoulder to hopefully muffle his own moans.

"Need to talk to you about Aque Town~" Bdubs sounds closer now, footsteps clearly entering the town hall threshold. There was a sigh and the sound of Bdubs taking a seat.

Mumbo's eyes widened as he felt Scar shift in his lap, quietly resuming the interrupted pace from earlier. The despair in his face must've been apparent because Scar's eyes lit up, biting his lip with a teasing wink.

"Where on earth is the mayor?" Bdubs hemmed and hawed, tapping his foot on the floor, wholly unaware of what's happening a couple of blocks away from him.

Mumbo's grip tightens around the builder's hips and with a mischievous grin of his own he abruptly pulls Scar down his lap. The builder throws his head back, covering his mouth with both his hands in a panic.

"Maybe in his office?" they hear Bdubs' footsteps resume, presumably walking towards the staircase.

They held their breaths, surely this was it, if Bdubs doesn't see them on the way there then the vantage point from the banister was sure to give him quite the view.

A ping from Bdubs' communicator made the footsteps stop.

"oops, duty calls!" The unmistakable sound of fireworks and a takeoff rang through the building leaving behind a familiar, empty silence.

They waited. Counting the seconds, making _absolutely sure_ that Bdubs wasn't gonna come barging back again.

_**Finally.** _

The moment they're sure that the coast is clear Mumbo bucked up, resulting in a loud surprised moan to erupt from the builder's throat. Using the momentum, Mumbo flipped them over, laid Scar down onto the lush carpet, and proceeded to fuck his brains out.

"Mumbo! oh- gods!" Scar moaned, ears tinged red as the slap of skin on skin echoed around the town hall, every thrust hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves that made his toes curl and his vision white out. He weakly throws his arms around Mumbo's neck, nails leaving raised red trails on the expanse of the redstoner's back.

He was close, he was sososoclose, maddeningly so and as he felt Mumbo's hand wrap around his dick he couldn't even begin to try to explain what sort of noise came out of his mouth.

With a particularly well aimed thrust, Scar cums with a loud yell painting their chests with his jizz.

There was a quick lull as Mumbo paused out of consideration and Scar, still high on his orgasm, still painfully sensitive and spasming in pleasure, mewled in despair.

"d-don't s-stop" Scar gasped out

Mumbo bit his lip, resuming his rough pace to chase his own orgasm, pounding into Scar with wild abandon. Scar was still so **_tight_** that it didn't take long until he came, filling Scar to the brim.

"w-wait wait, don't pull out, please" Scar begged locking his knees around Mumbo's waist to hold him in place.

"I'm not going anywhere" Mumbo panted out, pressing a quick kiss to Scar's forehead. "actually, here" He wrapped his arms around the builder and with a pull, maneuvers them into their earlier position. Mumbo leaning on the cushions against the diamond throne with Scar on his lap, resting on his chest, happy as a clam.

"gimme a minute" Scar purred, hugging Mumbo around his waist.

"no worries" he sighs in contentment, running his fingers through Scar's hair "Good thing Bdubs didn't see us, I don't think he's recovered from last time"

"hey don't look at me, it's not _my_ fault Cub had the idea to bend you over the second floor balcony and rail you in plain view of everybody in the shopping district" Scar shrugged lazily. Mumbo's eyebrows raised

"you've... you realize that you've denied that in the most suspicious way possible right?" he snorts. Scar nonchalantly waves the exclamation away.

"besides! with Bdubs' high and mighty talk of the town hall being for _business_ purposes only and not _pleasure_ , where'd you think he went after catching glimpse of Cub balls deep in your ass hmm?" he grinned smugly "that's right, the _Mayor's_ office" Mumbo laughed

"that cheeky sod!" Of course, leave it to Bdubs to lecture them on 'professionalism' then turn around and crawl under Scar's desk.

"speaking of Cub" Scar points upward without raising his head "what did I tell you about sneaking crystals into people's shulkerboxes?"

Mumbo looked up at the balcony encircling the room above them, only now noticing the figure leaning on the banister looking down at them with a sly grin.

"Ah, hey Cub" Mumbo waved

"I just _knew_ I didn't give you a lust crystal" Scar huffed "honestly, Cub, a little warning would've been nice"

"I'll have the baths ready in a bit" he cheerfully called down to them before disappearing from view.

"how does he do that?" Mumbo asked, equal parts afraid and in awe.

"better not to ask honestly" Scar snorted, fully relaxing into Mumbo arms "man if only we could stay like this forever"

"we'd get cold though" Mumbo hummed, gearing up to stand with the builder in his arms.

"aw that's true" he sighed, arms circling around Mumbo's neck as the redstoner carried him towards the bathroom. "I still think we should've gotten you for Concorp"

"and that prospect still scares me" Mumbo chuckles.

**Author's Note:**

> No joke, this has been in my to-write list ever since the Mayoral Race Era but with the recent uptick in Mumbo and Scar content (thank you HCBBS) it pretty much wrote itself in a week.
> 
> How's everybody doing today? All good? Don't forget to stretch those limbs to make Papa K proud! So, let's adress the elephant in the room. Sweet Jungle? Still coming, _but_ I might've posted the first chapter way too early. Long story short the way chapter one was positioned made it difficult to connect with the second chapter, difficult but not impossible. So there might come a time where I take it down temporarily to rectify the situation, fret not though because once I repost it it's gonna be complete so no need to wait. Well it's either that or I do a bit of gymnastics to get the chapters to stick, we'll see what happens ok? ok.
> 
> Ok Magic Crystals, did I write something to justify the mayor's diamond licking problem and affinity for magic crystals? Perhaps. Did I go all meta and reference one of my spicygambles.tumblr.com posts by the end? Perhaps. Was that a Storage Wars reference in this year 2021? _perhaps_.
> 
> This was oddly fun to write! And while I still encountered a bit of the usual difficulty it all went smoother than I expected. We have playful banter from Scar and Mumbo. Bdubs being cluelessly adorable, and Cub, who I fear and respect in equal amounts.
> 
> Ok ok, I've honestly forgotten what I usually put in these too long a/ns. Future projects maybe? Aside from sweet jungle anyway, we're gonna post the mac and cheese royalty au! Some nice pining Iskall and a generally clueless Mumbo, that's good right? And I have like two different Mumbo harem au's I'm trying to figure out... Well to be fair anything we write tends to turn into a Mumbo harem au anyways lol.
> 
> Ok enough from me. I've missed writing and posting stuff here but I do post a bit more frequently on tumblr at gimblegamble.tumblr.com ok! Gamble, out!


End file.
